1480: What Dead Carrier Chicken?


Cast:

  • Royal Court
  • Jester
  • Prudence (scrubwoman)
  • Maud (scrubwoman)
  • Fairy Godfather
  • Unicorn (two people in an unicorn costume, in lieu of real unicorn)
  • Town Crier

Synopsis:

Begins with a greeting by the Jester, followed by the Royal Procession. All dialogue is supplied for the Wassail and Boar’s Head festivities. The two slovenly looking scrubwomen make silent appearances during the main course of the meal, mostly in an exaggerated clean-up after other performers acts.

Following the dessert, the scrubwomen re-enter and discover a deceased chicken on the stage, which turns out to be the King’s carrier chicken.

“Are you sure that it’s dead? It might be a trick.” “If this bird ain’t dead, he sure is sick.” “That ain’t a dead bird, it’s a dead chicken. . . The King’s Carrier Chicken!”

I know this sounds off-the-wall, but stay with me on this, OK?

Following the brief appearance of a Unicorn and slightly more significant appearance of the Fairy Godfather, the Jester enters and involves the audience in a chanting response to the actions on stage. The Jester decides to turn politician,

“I hereby announce that I am running for King.” “Don’t be silly, you’re a Jester . . . a fool. And a fool can not be a politician.” “That hardly needs an answer! If politicians can be fools, / And nothing is worse-a, / Then fools can be politicians. / And/or vice-versa. Think about that.”

To bolster his political image, he must find a wife, a son. and a pet. This brings about a surprising and strange turn of events. Prudence becomes his Queen du jour, the big Hairy Godfather becomes his son, and the unicorn becomes his pet dog, Checkers . . . and the campaign is up and running.

This portion of the dialogue ends in a battle of wits between the Jester and Prudence. And the winner is . . . (I won’t tell.) Dialogue is supplied for the introductions to the various parts of the short concluding concert. The Jester bids a fond farewell to the audience prior to the recessional. Most of the dialogue is rhymed. Even though the title is strange, this script is great fun . . . strange, but great fun.