1492: M. Peror’s Gnu Close

( If you have not guessed by now, the title is this script is pronounced, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” Sorry about that. )

Cast:

  • Royal Court
  • Jester
  • Pierrot
  • Rogue 1 (Male or female)
  • Rogue 2 (Male or female)
  • Emperor
  • Ms. PC(Politically Confused)
  • Bit Parts:
    • Child
    • Two Emissaries

Synopsis:

Begins with a greeting by the Jester, followed by the Royal Procession. All dialogue is supplied for the Wassail and Boar’s Head festivities. Its not “politics as usual”, but “politics as unusual” in this fanciful script. It all begins when the King decides it is time for a change.

“Since I am the King, I shall set a good example and get a new change of clothes.”

The Jester enlists the aid of His Majesty’s Dubious Thespians, to perform a play of the King’s choosing, The Emperor’s New Clothes. (What else?) We all know how that old play goes, but this is really not “that old play. “

This version is complete with an Emperor who rises up from midst the audience to take his place in history because he “looks just great in a crown,” the famous French Jester, Monsieur Pierrot, a fuss budget, Ms. PC, a child, and two emissaries who talk faster than possible prior to the invention of the vertical sentence. The cast is pulled further off the wall with the entry of two rogues,

“Roguier men ne’er lived who can rogue as well as us rogues can rogue.”

As in the original story, the rogues create an invisible royal costume from invisible fabric made on their invisible loom (The wily weavers were weaving warps and woofs of woven wonders at their wondrous loom, the Be-One Stealth Sewing Engine.) They tell the King,

“The warp and woof literally barks out to be touched. And the cut, the design, the . . . ‘natural’ style, so ‘in’ these days. Your majesty, you will look as natural as a new-born babe in this most indiscernible Royal Costume.”

The King sends emissaries to check on the progress of the weaving, One Emissary reports to the king,

“The fabric has incredibly imperceptible colors and a delicately indiscernible design. I have never seen anything like it, even there. I found not one flaw,”

and neither does the emperor, who wears the costume in the annual parade. You may think that you know how it turns out, but don’t be too sure.

Hint: If the Emperor were facing south, this show would be called “Northern Exposure.” The audience is much involved in the story and finally led astray, much to their delight and pleasure.